Sunday, July 25, 2010

Both Humbled, and Touched

Yesterday was interesting, and God used it to remind me that it is okay to humble yourself and allow others to bless you--even when you know you've done nothing to deserve it.
K graduates on the 20th, and I was greatly looking forward to flying down and seeing him graduate. I like being there for big moments in people's lives, especially when they involve my soon to be husband. Unfortunately, I am also a broke recent college it was looking as though that wasn't going to happen.
While I was at work yesterday, I was talking with my manager to see about possibly picking up more hours to try and make the money for the plane ticket. We had no hours left to allott, so I figured it just wasn't going to be

Well, while I was working, one of my coworkers who had just gotten off her shift asked me to come over the the counter. I thought nothing of it, and went over, expecting to check her out so she could go home.
Instead, she hands me a gift card and says "You're not allowed to say no. You need to be there to see him graduate"
She had overheard my conversation with my manager and she went and bought me a 125 dollar gift card so I could buy the plane ticket. I was so blessed, and so humbled by her actions. It was truly a blessing and I'm honestly still in shock over it!

I'm still waiting on K to call me so I can get the flight figured out, but knowing that I'm probably going to get to be there now makes me so happy. Call me a nerd, but I will do anything to be there for special moments--especially ones that people work so hard to acheive.

In case you can't tell, I am very proud of my fiance. He works so hard and does such a wonderful job at what he does. Sometimes I get frustrated with things regarding his job, but I also know he's doing what he has to---and I will do whatever I can to support him in that and be his biggest cheerleader!

In other news, I'm working on the job search still. I've applied for 4 jobs this morning, and applied for a few more earlier in the week. We'll see if anything comes of it :) I'm just ready to stop making minimum wage (it's time for a new-er car! D'artagnon has been acting up...silly car)

God's timing is perfect. I have to remember that. In every situation.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Learning isn't Always Easy....Neither is Patience

I know I have a long way to go before I get this whole military spouse thing down....thankfully I have 3 more months until that title becomes official, but even then, there are times when I wonder if I'll ever learn. Patience has never been my forte--even as a child, I was always waiting, anxious about something. It seems as though the last few days, I've reverted back to my childhood attitudes....and I honestly dont' have an explanation as to why.
There are days when having K gone really gets to me. If I said I never missed him being here, that would be a lie. Other days, I'm okay with it--because I know it's not much longer and that his absence is only temporary. I think it's mostly in big moments: vacations, big accomplishments, etc-that really make me anxious for him to come home again.
I've been doing a lot of praying recently. Prayer for patience, because Lord knows I have none. My K will be home in less than 28 days....two days ago, that felt like eternity. We will be married in less than 3 me, that still seems like an eternity away.
Patience is a hard thing to learn. Will I ever master it? Lord willing, yes. But only in His strength.

In other news, I am in the process of putting together a rather epic care package for my sweetie. Irene and I went to Target to get the first half of the mayham yesterday--and came out with some rather random, but excellently awesome stuff. I hope K likes sandwich boxes :)
Working at Walgreens does bode well for making care packages. That discount comes in handy when that bill keeps climbing :) I love doing things like that though. I love to bless people and make them smile....and this is the best I know how to do from 900 miles away!!

Speaking of Walgreens, I work today. I enjoy my job there, I really do. The people are wonderful and make me actually look forward to working. Will I be there forever? Doubtful, especially now that I'm looking for full time work....but I have learned a lot working there--about myself, about others, about work ethic
It's been a good experience.

Well, I probably need to finish this up...but I ask of you that you do pray for me, that I can learn patience and that this whole process of my learning will continue to bring K and I closer and be the building blocks to an incredible marriage :)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

You can't have Hello without Goodbye

I'm writing this super early, but it's either do this: spill my heart out to an inanimate computer blog or cry....and I don't want to cry anymore.
K and I said our goodbyes to each other about 15 minutes ago. I've been in San Antonio for about 5 days. And a wonderful 5 days it has been.

I hate how fast the time goes when we are together. The times when we are apart just drag, but once we're together it's over before we know it. I'm already counting down to September, when he gets to come to Offutt and we won't be over 900 miles apart.

I won't lie. I cried when he left. Yes, I'm a pansy. Yes, I should be used to goodbyes by now, but I'm not. The closer we get to our wedding, the harder goodbyes seem to get. It just doesn't seem very fair--but life isn't fair.

I had good practice in "military" yesterday. The unit was told they would have a 24 hour mission yesterday (putting them home this morning and giving them all of today off), which would have been ideal because that would mean one more day with him before my flight leaves.
But in true military fashion, it was a farce--today is the 24 hour. Meaning I had to say my goodbyes far sooner than I wanted to or was ready to.

Does it get easier? To an extent, yes, I think it does, but it also gets harder. There are days when I feel selfish and wonder "when is it our turn?" But I know that time will come. I just need to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.

Last time we said goodbye, he was still in Florida. That one was incredibly hard. I cried, even while at the airport. And I think it's because I realized something: my home is no longer Omaha, or Nebraska, or school, or wherever. The only place I truly feel at home is wherever he is: whether that's in his truck, on base, at his apartment. Don't get my wrong, I love my family. I love going home to their house, but now, that's not my home. My family is there, but I am not complete there. I guess that's part of getting married....

I stayed with him last night, knowing each precious moment was one closer to him needing to report (at 5am!). My sweetheart is NOT a snuggler, but for some reason, last night he held me all night. I felt so secure, even though my heart was aching. I love him so much.

These last few days have been incredible. The moment I saw him, it was as if those 3 months apart never happened. It was as if he had never moved away. As if we had spent this last year together rather than apart. That's what I love about Hellos. For a moment, everything is right again.

We had so much fun this weekend. I met some wonderful people (and their lady friends). Thursday night when I got in we just hung around, it wasn't anything special....but on the same vein, it was special because K and I were together--and that is all that matters

Friday we went to Sea World and it poured :) At least we got wet at the right place. I had a terrible cold from last Tuesday through about Sunday, so that kinda put a damper on things, but we dealt :) That night, we went to a resaurant called something like Fogo de Chao--and I literally rolled out of there haha! It was delicious, and we had wonderful company of Ryan and Stephanie.

We saw the Riverwalk, went to Dave and Busters, saw a movie, went shopping (found out Konstantin's ring size haha) was a marvelous weekend.

Do I miss him already? More than you can even comprehend....but the one thing that gives me hope during the goodbyes is knowing that our next hello will be even sweeter than the last. Without the pain and sadness of goodbyes, we cannot comprehend the passion and beauty of the hellos.....

So if all goes according to plan, only 42 days until a hello. Only 42 days until I'm in his arms again. Only 42 days until I am home again.