Friday, August 27, 2010

Learning to Wait

This whole process of finding a full time, well-paying job is getting very discouraging. While I know it's only a temporary thing, it's very hard on my self esteeem
You're over qualified
You're under qualified
etc etc etc

It gets old.

But mom showed me an article today that helped put things back into perspective. It talked about how sometimes in your most discouraged state, is when God is planning to work the most.
It used the story of Mary, Martha, and Lazerus in the Bible when Lazerus died and Jesus waited to raise him from the dead. He could have prevented him from dying, but instead, he made them wait--and Mary had to make the choice to continue pouting or to trust her Lord
I want to be like Mary--able to stop pouting and to trust my Lord completely. It's really hard right now, and perhaps that makes me sound like I doubt my Jesus, but I don't....I'm just being honest

I know a job will come in time, but the closer we get to our wedding, the scarier it gets thinking that I will be unable to financially contribute to our marriage
but that's ultimately not what marriage is about
and I know he loves me regardless of what I can pay for

I am blessed to have an amazing fiance. Only 55 days until I am his wife....what a wonderful feeling
I can hardly wait

but again, I am learning to trust the Lord's timing :) 55 days will be here soon, as will a job, and as will a car

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