Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Parenting doesn't come with a manual

I have a confession to make:

This parenting thing? I really have no clue what I'm doing.  You want to be humbled? Become a mom.
I've always been the person with the answers, the person who can do it herself, miss "has everything together".
Then I became a mom.

Parenthood doesn't come with a manual.

I promise not to get on my soapbox, as we all have opinions, but one thing I want to mention is that part of parenting is learning what works for you.  The reason there are so many child rearing books out there is because there hasn't been one method that suddenly works for every single child.  Part of the adventure in parenting is discovering what works for your child.
With that said, I have my way of doing things as a mom.  Others may do it differently.  Neither is more right or wrong than the other.
It's just what works.

Because, let's be honest, half the time we are pseudo-zombies just trying to function in polite society.  On those occasions when we discover that "VOILA" this works for my child, we're going to hold onto that and go with it....
....even though we know it will change within a week or two.

So this parenting thing?  I have no clue what I'm doing
but it's completely and utterly awesome.
and humbling. seriously humbling.

E is now 15 weeks old and, as you can probably guess from my lack of blogging, taking up most of my spare time.  She is an absolute joy and probably the easiest baby on the planet....and no, I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom and I'm biased...I worked childcare for years, she really is an easy baby.

We are still exclusively breastfeeding minus the pumped milk she gets when I'm at work.  I am incredibly proud of the fact we've made it this far already.  My hope it to make it to at least one year so each day is one step closer to that.  I could get all birth nerd mushy gushy here since I'm a bit obsessed with all things pregnancy/birth/nursing related, but, I'll spare you the sordid details for now.  Just know I'm cherishing every moment that the Lord allows us to continue that part of our relationship.

E now smiles like crazy, laughs out loud (lols?), rolls both directions and reaches for things that she wants.
She is a terrible napper.
Can't win them all, I guess.

She is wearing 3-6 month clothing and doesn't appear to be slowing down in her growth anytime soon.  I'm really looking forward to her 4 month appointment at the end of this month to find out just how big our little miss has gotten.  She's not as rollie pollie as some babies, but she definitely has some chunk on her.
Goodness, I love marshmallow babies.

I have the best alarm clock in the world considering E likes to wake me up by laughing (or punching me in the face, if she's managed to wake me at that magical hour when my zombie self somehow decides that putting her in bed with me will grant me a few extra moments of sleep instead of feeding her and putting her back in her crib).  She is a morning person.
Mommy is not a morning person.
Daddy is a morning person when coffee is involved.
guess who is going to take over mornings when he returns from his deployment?

Each day brings new and exciting adventures.  I can hardly fathom that I am watching the cognitive, emotional, physical and even spiritual development of a tiny human being.  When they say that each day is different, they're completely right.  It's incredible.

The dignified me is long gone.  I will spend an hour making funny noises, dancing like a monkey or blowing raspberries with my mouth if it will garner me a chuckle from little miss.
I haven't worn my hair down since E's newborn pictures.
I put makeup on for the first time when I went back to work.
I'm still in my fat pants.
and it's so awesome.

It's incredible to me how priorities change so much after you become a mom.  I absolutely love my job, but when the hour hits that I get to go pick up my daughter, you better believe that I hustle myself out of there as quickly as I can just so I can hold her.
Even though I know I should put her down for bed earlier, I keep her up until 8:30 or 9, just so I can get a few extra snuggles.

It's not about dressing "cool" or having my hair done perfectly anymore.  It's about what's quick, easy and makes me look somewhat capable of functioning in polite society.   It's learning to laugh at myself when I can't find my cell phone when I'm having a conversation with someone on the other line.  Laughing when I walk into a door frame because I am attempting to entertain a 3 month old while simultaneously getting ready for work.
and it's awesome.

In the past 3 or so months, I have continued to learn and grow in so many incredible ways.  I have learned to suck up my pride and ask for help when I need it.  With K deployed, I had to come to a point of realizing that, while I'd like to think it's possible, I'm just not superwoman, and there was no way I'd be able to take care of mowing.
so I called the squadron and they will be helping with that until he returns.
There have been nights where E won't stop crying and I call my mom or sister crying right along with her just because I need someone to tell me that it's okay.
It's definitely not the easiest thing I've ever done.
I'm stubborn.
Parenting is helping to change that.

Words cannot describe how much I with my husband could be here to enjoy every up and down that this journey has brought.  I try my hardest to send multiple pictures/videos to him per day.  Update him on all the new and exciting things going on with our daughter.  Letting him know that we really are doing okay without him.
but that doesn't mean I haven't cried wishing with my whole heart he could walk this path with us right now.
I cried the first time E smiled because he wasn't able to see it.
I cried the first time I heard her laugh because it was so beautiful that trying to video record it just couldn't convey how beautiful the sound was.
I've cried during 3am feedings when the stress, pressure, anxiety and overwhelming responsibility I have pressing on me constantly is too much to bear.
but I have also learned to lean on the Lord because He is molding us in beautiful ways during this time.

Parenting is a beautiful, scary, overwhelmingly awesome journey.  I can honestly say I have loved every up and down of this adventure so far.  Words cannot describe the love I have for our daughter or the joy that she has brought into my life.

It'd be great if parenthood had a manual, but, then again, I think that would take some of the fun out of it.

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